22th April 1.30am. My mom knocked my room door while repeating calling my name until I response it.
I wonder why my mom knocked my room door in the middle of the night, I response my mom “Hmmm~~~”

Them my mom said “Wake up.. Mama’ (Grandma) just passed away.”
My mind suddenly went blank.. I thought it’s a joke or something.
I said “Ahhh~~ Bukan Mama’ bagus ka? Why tiba-tiba?”
My mom replied “Mama’ meninggal suda. Start packing we’re going back to Keningau soon.”

Suddenly a flashback… I remember I suppose to meet my grandma after I finished my Degree in Australia. I even thinking of going back to Keningau visit her end of this April but it’s too late..
I never believe the phrase “It’s never too late.” Anymore after that…

No wonder Why I feel so uncomfy 1 day after my birthday. I look at my portrait photos but for the first time when I look at the portrait’s eye my heartbeat suddenly beating very fast.
I close the photography book and keep on wondering.. What happen? Why suddenly the photo’s portrait eye got soul pula out of the blue?

I never know it is a sign or messenger.. U know kan me, can’t be bother punya type.

While packing.. I feel guilty, I’m afraid my grandma is waiting for me to balik kampung and tell my stories to her.
I always show my grandma photos to my classmate and friend, how cool is my grandma..
But again.. It’s too late. Haishh~~

After my parents called my sis who study in KL and booked a return ticket for her to see my grandma for the last time.
Around 3am+, I left the photos of my grandma where I usually bring anywhere on top of my study table and off to Keningau.

To Keningau.. Silence Journey

My younger sis is sleeping, My mom never starts any conversation for the first time. My dad obviously is sad while driving..
Then I tell them I feel guilty didn’t meeting my grandma after coming back for good. I cannot blame my work and also my job~

I thought getting a stable job or achieve something only meeting my grandma and tell her I did something and make her proud.
But again.. It’s too late. *facepalm* haishhh~~~

Around 5am, We reach Keningau.
I can hear someone crying from outside. I greet everyone first who’s outside then slowly2 entering the house.
For the 2nd time, I saw the coffin in the same exact place. 14 years ago, bapa’ (Grandpa) passed away and his coffin placed in the same place too.

Mama’ look so peaceful, seems like she’s sleeping so peacefully. I’m glad.. Then I whisper to her “I said sorry for not coming after graduation & thanks for everything.”
Suddenly my tears come out.. My balls are not made of steels for a while.

And then I’m moving to the kitchen… Looking for food~~ So that I won’t be sad. Lapar also~~
I believe Mama’ don’t want us to be sad too…

An hour or 2 later, most of the family members who work and live in KK reach Keningau already.
I try to observe their reaction once they take off their shoe and entering the house. Don’t ask me why~~ I’m an observer, let’s just say a pure Artist try to capture/learn everyone of my cousin and aunt/uncle emotion.
Suddenly it’s like a movie scene.

Even a cool person or I called them “Cyborg Feeling” person suddenly lost..

The Last Supper

I feel so different for the first time. Maybe because Mama’-'s soul is not here anymore.
The time moving so slow.. I guess Mama’ is still waiting everyone to gather in her house before the burial day arrive.

In the afternoon, my late granddad first cousin. Mamai agong send a message or signal to all the kampung using gong just to let everyone knows One of the families member has passed away already.

Beat Messenger/Signal of Someone’s Dead from Keningau.

Mamai Agong explain it to me but I forget what it is called. It’s Either Nunutik, Nanutong or something else..

Don’t left Me Here, bring me to a better place.

In the late afternoon, My second cousin or Mama’ relatives from Penampang arrive one by one.
You know.. Hearing people crying emotionally does effect other people’s emotion.
Every minutes.. Relatives, friends or someone I met for the first time entering the house and repeat the same thing.

Mama’ originally from Penampang, but late-Bapa’ is an English Teacher, during his teacher’s life. They move to other places allot until they settled down in Keningau, which is Bapa’ hometown.

To avoid not feeling emo/sad for 24/7. I decide to have a walk around my house and take a nap.

My Sister and KL born Cousin arrive at night. Another cousin who working in Dubai arrive the next day.
fast forward….

Saturday Afternoon,
Is my Grandma Burial Day.

The elder grandson (me, junior, jay-jay, day-day etc..) designated to carry the coffin from the house into the caretaker’s car and off to Church.
I think that is the moment where everyone~~ Basically.. Generally… Everyone.. Especially the daughter and Granddaugher cannot accept it.
Close the coffin, carry it to the caretaker’s car.. Althou it’s only a few steps walk.
It takes quite sometimes to reach because.. Everyone is pulling me and my cousin’s shirt.

When the door closed and all Grandma Children get into the car.
All of my cousin started to cry.. Because Mama’ no longer gonna enter her own house anymore.

I bow Mama’ for the last time and say good bye.
The caretaker’s car moving and Mama’-'s existence slowly faded..

Last Goodbye

I was born as a Christian Catholic. I even attend Sunday School until Confirmation just to make my Dad happy. Personally, I always believe in Traditional and Custom believe.
This is my first time entering Church since…. 2007 or 2008… I feel lost for the first time in the church *facepalm*

After the Church service.. Everyone head to the graveyard.

Mama’ will be buried just beside Bapa’.
I’m so happy, I bet Bapa’ is happy too.. Finally, after 14years..

They forget what is the meaning of Hot and Sweat.

2 hours after the Burial Service.
From very hot weather suddenly the wind breeze and it started to rain heavily.

Which means, It’s a good sign.
Army of Angels open the sky and let Mama’ enters above us.

The day where She’s gone for good with an open heart.

Now, I’m back home for 2nights.
Sister have to attend school and let the teachers know, Mum have to attend work and apply leave again. While me, Attending Japanese Class and apply another “Yasumi”-day this Wednesday.
Because Tuesday We gonna head back to Keningau again to attend Momisok Ceremony and Mama’ 7th Day.

2008 December Christmas Day.

Good Bye Mama’ and Rest in Peace.
Jangan worry gia~~ Everything is gonna be alrite. Enjoy above langit.

In loving Memory of :
Angelina@Magdelina Tati Binti Othman Mogindol
15/09/1930 – 22/04/2010 (80 years old)

-peace bebeh and one love-

Popularity: 12% [?]

Life, Ricoh R10, Sabah 5 Comments April 26th, 2010

If you’re not too busy with your life, while driving just focus on the white line and cars…. I bet u know there’s a few unknown colorful tree around KK alive lately. It’s white (白い) & Yellow (黄色い) color.
I didn’t expected saw very colorful tree environment for quite sometimes especially in KK area!

I’m not sure is it Cherry Blossom (or famous word Sakura 桜) or not.
But it does change my mood. Become super happy boy. LOL

These are the image below I’d taken 2-3 days ago… Not fully blooming thou~ I saw a few composite photo full bloom photos on FB by unknown, I bet some of y’all seen it already.

Airport – Lintas Highway

Wawasan-City Terminal Bus Station Area

Bloom baby Bloom!!

It does change the perspective and structure of KK for a while.
I don’t mind City Hall planting lots of Plant but somehow.. I’m sick and tired lookin at the green color sumtimes~~

We need more contrasty color I guess..

sakura namiki no michi no ue de~~~

Suddenly reminds me of this song  pula :

Moriyama Naotaro – Sakura

Sakura sakura to aoi sora mitte shita! utsukushii na~~~ Looking above Cherry Blossom and Blue Sky. So Nice~~~
Imagine your car stop above the tree and see the leaves fall down. Saya terus nyanyi that song I embed from youtube above. LOL

Sakura~~ Sakura~~ tada mai ochiruu~~ (Cherry Blossom oh Cherry Blossom simply falling)

Bah tomorrow is Saturday. For those who don’t have chance look-see look-see.. Don’t complain the weather

-peace bebeh and one love-

Popularity: 11% [?]

Canon EOS 350D, Life, Ricoh R10, Sabah 1 Comment April 17th, 2010

The Title Post makes you think rite?
of course you can.. And I’ll help you how to do it!

Watch the video below :

Transfer Negative Film without Scanner.

Now you know!!
It’s Easy and Effective!
If you have better compact camera than mine, the result will be much better.

Does this Post helps you allot? You can save lots of cash ehh~~!!
For the sake of Film!

-peace bebeh and one love-

Popularity: 11% [?]

Film, Ricoh R10 1 Comment April 9th, 2010

I feel like I want to delete this Blog and starts a new one focus more stuff about Visual Art/Photography Stuff….

>_<”

Cos I read some of my old post is not relevant to me anymore..
Im sick and tired whining stuff with no reason bah this.. Lost interests already.

HOW??

-peace bebeh & one love-

Popularity: 17% [?]

Canon 5D Mark II, Canon EOS 350D, Documentary, Extreme Sports, Film, Kodak DX7630, Large Format Plaubel, Life, Mamiya RZ67, Melbourne, Music / Movies / Idols / Games, Nikon F80, Nokia N70, Polaroid SX-70, Portraiture, Ricoh R10, Sabah, Sony Cyber-shot, Still life, Studio 7 Comments March 24th, 2010

Quick Update…
Hello everybody~~~ My leg is so tiring. Just got back from Gold Coast in the evening. It was fun! But I overspent my $$$ in Movie World. =_=”
Sneak Peak photos from Day 2 till Day 5 in State of Queensland.

If the photos didn’t load just hop into my Public Link at Facebook Photo Album >> Here <<.

Day 2 Picture (wandering around the City) :

Brisbane City

Me and the Sculptor

Jerry, Bing and Khai

Day 3 Picture (to Sunshine Coast) :

Rumah Papan macam d KK. It’s a common house design u can found anywhere in Queensland state.s

@ Red Cliffe havin Fish and Chips.

Sunshine Coast’s Underwater World with Satoshi

click read more right below to continue reading

Popularity: 5% [?]

Canon 5D Mark II, Documentary, Life, Ricoh R10 No Comments November 19th, 2009